The ultimate guide to market emoji

IPhone and Mac users can expect an update to OS X this spring that includes 300 new emoji.

Apple this week released a beta version of its operating system that focuses on adding diversity to emojis amid criticism that the emoji people lacked a range of skin tones. The current version will allow users to pick from various skin tones on several different emoji characters, according to 9to5mac.

Also included in the emoji update are new flags, an updated iPhone 6 and an Apple Watch emoji.

The update has been applauded:

And it’s been mocked:

And even complained about for lacking redheaded emojis:

But there’s one thing that the new OS X update is definitely missing: markets emojis. That’s what you have us for. Here’s our guide to the financial emoji lexicon:

Ben Bernanke

He’s the former chairman of the Federal Reserve, he’s been attacked for bailing out Wall Street, he may or may not respond to the name “Helicopter Ben,” and now, he’s an emoji.

Two-for-one stock split

The company you invest in just announced a 2-for-1 stock split, so you feel twice as rich. Send this dancing pair, balloons and cheers beers in the emoji-dictionary! Wait a minute. No. Stop. Stop! Stock splits have no effect on net worth. It’s purely psychological. It’s like having a $10 bill and breaking it into two $5 bills. In both scenarios, you probably still can’t afford lunch on Wall Street.

Dead cat bounce

Why someone gave such a macabre representation to nothing more than a temporary price recovery is unclear. But why you need this emoji to describe a dead cat bounce is very, very clear.

Market jitters

Anxious about the Fed’s interest rate decisions? Nervous about the unemployment rate? Poor corporate earnings stressing you out? This is the emoji for you.

Janet Yellen

You thought she was just the chairwoman of the Federal Reserve. Wrong. She is a whole emoji. When discussing her dovish monetary policy and higher interest rates, this emoji will come in handy.

Market cap

“My company is bigger than your company” is a regular message that CEOs text each other, right? Luckily, you have a comeback. “Oh yeah, well at least I’m fluent in speaking emoji!”

Not a CEO of a publicly traded company? At least this emoji would have been useful as you were texting your friends this week that Google’s market cap just surpassed the market cap of the whole Russian stock market.

Fire sale

So you’ve found yourself in the midst of a bear market. Securities are trading well below their intrinsic value. What happens next? Fire off this emoji.

Value investors, you just found the most compelling risk-reward payoff with some major upside potential.

Smart money

You can work your way around some dollar bills.

Bull market

What better way to celebrate rising prices and optimism? When you get the sense that the bull market is here, first invest, then text.

Bear market

The prices of securities fall, and investors just keep selling. Brighten every pessimist’s day by sending them a cute emoji bear market.

Angel investor

Need help lifting your startup off the ground? Forget the fancy sales pitch. Text the wealthiest person you know saying, “Will you be my [insert emoji]?” Who could say no to that?

Your nest egg

It’s your worst fear: outliving your retirement money. And now there’s an emoji for that.

How do you respond when friends invite you to a posh dinner and you don’t want to blow so much cash? Or they ask you to buy tickets to their charity ball? Or your kid wants more money? Gone are the days of making up excuses. This emoji is your new answer.

It’s the friendliest way of reminding people that you’re no Scrooge — you are financially responsible and just want to make sure you have enough retirement money in your nest egg.

Rainy day fund

Send your friends daily reminders of the No. 1 money rule: Keep a reserve stash of rainy day funds in case of emergency expenses or an unexpected break in income.

Wall Street

In an era where more trading happens on computers and through mobile apps, Wall Street may be taking on a more figurative meaning. But the New York Stock Exchange’s downtown city headquarters remains a symbol of the industry.

Bank run

You’ve woken up to an emoji of a bank, and a running person. What does this mean? Likely, a large number of customers have withdrawn their deposits at the same time, a signal they believe that financial institution might become insolvent. If you get this emoji, it’s IMPORTANT.

What happens when many banks suffer a bank run at the same time? Don’t panic. Just alert your financial friends by sending a series of this emoji instead.

Betting on the wrong horse

Face it, every investor makes mistakes. Own up to it by admitting you bet on the wrong horse. This is often followed by a series of sad faces.

Market is flooding

When you receive this text, it means a flood is coming — a metaphorical market flood in which you will likely see an undesired drop in price for a product.

Going bankrupt

No money, more problems. It’s difficult to tell your loved ones that you are going bankrupt. Let this emoji do the talking instead.

Your financial adviser

Let’s face it: Sometimes, it’s hard not to feel like your financial adviser thinks he or she is a fortune teller.Send this emoji when complaining that your portfolio’s returns are not good enough. Always blame it on the faulty fortune teller…erm, financial adviser.

Market crash

This one is self-explanatory. Hopefully you’ll know about a market crash before receiving this emoji.

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